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The Spoof – Rob & Brenda Song to star in “Burning Star”

December 20, 2008

source: The Spoof

*WARNING THIS ISN’T A REAL NEWS STORY, but I thought it was funny so I wanted to share! 🙂

Brenda Song & Rob Pattinson To star in Indie film, ”Burning Star”

Disney Channel queen, Brenda Song and ”Twilight” hottie Rob Pattinson are set to star together in a new porn independent film called, “Burning Star”. The new couple would like to appear in serious films for 20 year olds. Pattinson has one more Twilight movie to shoot and Song has one more season of her Disney Channel show, ”The Suite Life on Deck” to shoot, and then Song has a promotion tour for her new teen movies.

Pattinson told ”Vanity Fair”, “I am being offered a lot of roles, where i literally play the teen hunk, or the teen football capitan, and I did not feel comfortable playing those roles. So then I was offered the role of Josh Elton, in the new Indie film, “Burning Star” and one of my close friends, Brenda Song was also in the same situation where all she was offered were teen roles, so the casting producer of “Burning Star”, was really rooting that Brenda plays the female lead in the film. In the end, Brenda and I both signed up to star in the film. There will be some porn, nudity, and sexual tension between me and Brenda. I want to be considered a serious actor, not a tweenybopper actor from the Disney Channel. And Brenda wanted to breakout of her clean, sober image too. The film has a very interesting plot and many characters that I think people will relate too. It is definitely not a teen movie nor a porn movie. It’s audience is mainly young adults, older and wiser groups of teens and probably several families. Many tweens will be interested in seeing this movie. Well they can it’s rated 12A so they can watch it. The disturbing scenes will not be in the 12A version though, there is only one scene with nudity, and it is very short. ”

Pattinson also added, “Brenda and I told the producers to cut it out and they expected that. The film is truly amazing and I can’t wait for it’s release. It’s mainly our way to see that we have grown up and matured, we are not the same people we were at 14-18. When I did Twilight I was 17 going on 18. Don’t get me wrong I love being part of the Twilight series, but being framed as a tween star is disturbing. I want to be known as a serious star, the term tween when given to Twilight is wrong. Twilight is an amazing film for young adults and young teens. But the media just portrays and categorized everything in a very false way.”

Song’s rep told Song not to comment at all, so she fired them and hired Pattinson’s rep. Due to the large pressure from the Disney Channel. She went on air with The Oprah Show, and did a tell-all interview one to one. Song told Oprah, “The film, “Burning Star” is a very interesting story, it has many charming characters, contrary to recent reports claiming that the film is a porn indie movie. Well it is definitely not a porn movie. The film is distributed by Warner Bros. Movies and an independent major film company called Terminal 1. The film is about two lovers in their early adulthood years struggling in every way. I didn’t want to quit Disney, I absolutely love the Disney Channel but I think that it was time to do something different.”

Song also added, “I did many movies outside Disney like Special Delivery and Like Mike. But it was time to something serious. I would like to be a serious actress, my tweenyboper clean cut Disney image is lovely and all but i am 20 years old now, not 15, not 14. So Burning Star is a whole new journey for me and I hope that my fans enjoy this. I am not doing any nude scenes at all or any porn. Other mentally disturbed characters will be doing a small scene where this is shown, there is a clean version of the movie, with out this which will be shown in cinemas everywhere. The porn scene is only in the DVD bonus scene advised for adults. I made sure and told the producers many times that I don’t do nudity/pornography.”

In my opinion, Brenda and Rob are not attention seekers. The fact that they are not willing to do nudity and porn is astonishing. They are amazing role models to tweens, but they finally have realized that it’s time to breakout. I wonder what Brenda’s ex, Joe Jonas has to say about this. And Brenda’s BFF, Vanessa Hudgens is on the same path to breakout, I wonder what her opinion on this is. Well the only person from Brenda’s group of friends who actually commented on this is Nick Jonas, the 16 year old teen hunk told Us Weekly, “I love Brenda, Kevin and I had crushes on her for a really long time. She is a wonderful person and I personally would love to see this. I am also really into Rob Pattinson’s work, Twilight is amazing. I love Brenda and Rob’s breakout and wish them all the best.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.


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